How to win Friends and Influence People

How to Win Friends and Influence People is a self-help book written by Dale Carnegie, published in 1936. Over 30 million copies have been sold worldwide, making it one of the best-selling books of all time. In 2011, it was number 19 on Time Magazine’s list of the 100 most influential books.
Carnegie had been conducting business education courses in New York since 1912. In 1934, Leon Shimkin of the publishing firm Simon & Schuster took one of Carnegie’s 14-week courses on human relations and public speaking;[3] afterward, Shimkin persuaded Carnegie to let a stenographer take notes from the course to be revised for publication. The initial five thousand copies[3] of the book sold exceptionally well, going through 17 editions in its first year alone.

In 1981, a revised edition containing updated language and anecdotes was released.[4] The revised edition reduced the number of sections from six to four, eliminating sections on effective business letters and improving marital satisfaction.

Learnings:

  1. Always give genuine compliments to the people else than flirty statements .

  2. Become really interested in other people. All people want attention. All people want to boost their self-steem and importance no matter what.

  3. Smile often. It makes people like you instantly.

  4. Understand people’s point of view. Figure out what they really want to say and understand from their perspective, and finally give words according to their ideas and understandings.

  5. Remember people’s name and use it frequently. Calling people, by their name really makes them their own person. (Mostly remember names of working peoples).

  6. Don’t think and talk what you want. Speak what they want , and how can you give that… Leave your work aside and focus on others , then your work will automatically done. Ex: If you want to catch fish. Then don’t tell much how big fish you want. Instead think, what big fish wants and put that thing in the hook.

  7. Remember people often and wish them personally in their birthday or any events by making calls or whishes.

  8. Don’t defend anyone. Accept everyone’s opinions. Even if the person is wrong, don’t say he is wrong. Be Diplomatic and understand the words from his/her perspective.

  9. If you do any mistake then accept it immediately, don’t try to hide it.

  10. Become gentle while trading,speaking or communication. One who trades smoothly goes far.

  11. If you are going to talk with big personalities, or even with any person after a long time, then reserach about his/her interest, his passions/hobbies and talk his things. This makes person like you instantly and makes your life easier in several prospects.

  12. Make person say “yes, yes” lot of time. In doing so, people are willing to accept your thing easily. Because that simple repeated “yes” makes person feel connected and secured.

  13. Make the person feel special: by accepting their idea, by implementing their idea without any objection.

  14. Don’t brag/ say about yourself until people ask you. Let them do their talking , which makes them feel important and valued.

  15. Honestly see and appreciate other ways of thinking and act as his/her thinking as your own , and deal on that accord.

  16. Apologize the mistake even if mistake is not yours, which makes the mistaken person apologize their mistake very soon.

  17. Merely saying truth is not enough. Dramatize your ideas. Shows the proof for your sentence or for your truth. Props makes people trust easily and understand well.

  18. Appeal, to noble motives. Look at the person as if s/he is honest,truthful and kind. This makes people feel more into themselves.

  19. Don’t give orders directly, people don’t like it. Be sympathic and gives enough compliments.

  20. When nothing works, push people to challenge themself, to desire to excel. Visualize picture for better future of themself, if they face the challenge. (Throw down a challenge in positive way).

  21. Remember every work done by the workers, praise them enough with that thing, often.

  22. Ask questions with people, instead of giving direct orders.

  23. Talk about your mistakes before critizing the people. If you have to critize people, then do it in indirect way, i.e. first praise and speak indirectly.

  24. Praise for the slighest improvement, that makes the people learn more. Else, than scolding to their bad portions.

  25. Make people happy by doing the work that they suggest .

  26. The way of developing self-confidence is to find fear within you and act against the fear. The more action is taken against fear, more self-confidence grows.

    This book is all about the characters that one should possess by heart but not as a set of skills or techniques. If a person, behaves and acts heartly then life of that person changes.